Via Sebastian comes this tidbit from the questionaire for prospective minions in The One's administration:
Do you or any members of your immediate family own a gun? If so, provide complete ownership and registration information. Has the registration ever lapsed? Please also describe how and by whom it is used and whether it has been the cause of any personal injuries or property damage.
Now, I'm not sure he's just an ignorant twit (he grew up in Hawaii which I believe requires registration of Semiautomatic Firearms of Scary Visual Appearance, went to school in NYC and Taxachussetts, and now lives in Chicago, all of which require registration) and doesn't know any better because he's never lived in the free part of America, or if he and his inner circle are really that freaked out by guns.
But, since I am in the Army and thus this patronizing con artist will soon be telling me what to do, I'll answer the questions.
1-Yes. Between my wife and myself we have quite a few. I do know exactly how many, which means I don't have enough, but you don't need to know the exact number.
2-Ownership information: they were all purchased legally, and no they're not registered, because I am not a resident of the People's Soviet of Daleyland.
3-Something which does not exist cannot lapse. See above.
4a-They are mostly used by my wife and myself to shoot holes in paper, although a few are carried and/or stored for use defending against criminal attack, much the same way you keep a fire extinguisher in case of fire.
4b-Given the history of several of my guns, it's highly probably that some of them have caused property damage, wounded, and maybe even killed people. You see, they're military surplus of various types, and as such were carried by soldiers, in wars, where, in case you were unaware, people shoot each other with guns. 6, maybe 7 of my guns are of an age to have been used in WWII, 1 in WWI, and 1 in Israel's war for independence.
I'd invite Urkel to come over and go shooting with me, maybe get him over his insecurities, but the Secret Smurfs don't trust soldiers with guns.